Example Yizkor and Shloshim Ritual

At shloshim, which is usually private in my experience unless a person was very well known:

1. Consider opening with a gentle chant or song, such as  the album title song "I Remember" by Shoshana Jedwab,  Some play a song that was special to the person whose soul 
has ascended into Mystery

2. Then pass an object that belonged to the person around, and as it comes to each person they have the option of sharing an important memory about the person. Ideally one they hope will travel through the generations. (a discrete recording or video if all agree can be valuable; or some moments in time are meant to be unrecorded. This is a very personal decision for families. Kindly hold before or after sundown and not on shabbat). 

3. When the object comes to each of those attending shloshim (object selected by the family member who requested the ritual), s/he/hir can speak or pass the object along so that it will come back around for another opportunity after others speak.

4. Reprise the "I remember" or Yitgadal or other chorus of the chosen song in-between each telling or every few depending upon how many people come.

5. Some finish shloshim with Kadish d'Rabbanan or Debbie Friedman's version "For Our Teachers" and some also do El Malei Rachamim and if there is a minyan with Kaddish and the full song or its refrain to close.

6. If you like readings (I no longer use readings for much of anything in my Jewish work and services, but some do) here's one that people send me notes they use a lot, it's under my interpretation of the el malei which might be helpful to some, too: (this is a link to unveiling but similar things apply here: 

Note: Also helpful for Yizkor and memorial services